Monday, 5 September 2011

Keeping things alive

" I'm really sorry. It was all I could find"

Sigh and desperate looks shared...

" I am not sure I can do this. It's so pretty and we are effectively sending it to its death"

More desperate looks shared

"Oh well, I am sorry little orchid"

This was the conversation Lil B and her Husband were having at the boot of their car before bringing in a very pretty orchid as a present for me. 

I am not so good with the plants but I am making a conscious effort not to kill any. Not because I have a mean streak and like hacking to death helpless greenery but because I am not so green fingered. 

On the 24th of July Oli arrived and so far of the 10 tiny flowers she had she's only lost 6 and we are only 6 weeks into our relationship.This is new territory for me, plants in our family last days not weeks and now we are approaching "months" territory.

I have been on line and she is going to loose her flowers but I think I can get them to re-flower by cutting the stem. I am not going anywhere near her until all the flowers are gone and I have reconsulted the internet to make doubley sure I am not about to commit plant murder unnecessarily.

The thing is Lil B has the green fingers. And I want to have the green fingers - I have dreams of a garden with lots of flowers and veg and lush green grass for running around bare foot on. But I kill houseplants. So what kinds of carnage could I inflict on an actual garden?!?!

On Christmas Lil B and I got a Peace Lilly. You know the kind big green leaves one solitary white flower in the middle growing straight and proud on its own. Mine didn't make it to another Christmas, Lil B has cultivated hers to the point where I am sure she has more flower heads than big leaves. This was some years ago. 

We are selling our flat and thought some colour was in order. So Husband went out and bought the brightest funniest looking house plant he could find.

Hairy Cock Plant

I killed its brother in a fortnight. 

This replacement one is now in the "months" category.

Tonight a very dear friend brought round a Calla Lilly. 

I am now at 3 house plants, (I don't include the 2 cacti I have had since I was 17 and seem incapable of killing. I think they might be some sort of sad-masochist breed of plant) and am feeling the strain of their silent expectant hopes that they make it into the "years" category without too much drought or flooding.

I keep them separate from the cacti incase they tell these lovely new additions about the others that I have been incapable of keeping alive.


  1. I managed to kill bamboo. all you have to do is water them every month or so. Mine is dead. So i completely appreciate your lack of green fingers, and am very, very proud of you!

  2. I don't exactly have a green thumb either and the previous owner of our home left me 4 giant ficus trees when she moved. It's been four years and luckily I haven't managed to kill any of them yet (notice I said "yet") :)

    Thanks for stopping by and saying hello!