"I'm so sorry Catherine."
"At 12 weeks I'd expect it to be larger [but thats ok, I'm quite small and Husband isn't tall either]
I'd also expect to see a strong heartbeat [oh]"
Everything sounds muffled. Like I am under water.
Aware of small arms reaching out to hug me.
A new face.
"Would you like me to switch off the monitor?"
"I dont care, leave it, its fine [it's not fine. Nothing is fine. I just don't care.]"
"Would you like me to take you through what I am seeing here?"
"Sure [I don't care. I am not really hearing you any more. ]"
More muffled sounds.
In a new room.
Small arms hug me and big warm reassuring hands reach out.
"It'll be ok. We'll be ok. I love you."
I need to be anchored incase I float away, I grip his hand. I am numb. This is not real. Not again.
"We will be ok. It will be ok. I love you too."