Tuesday, 30 August 2011

Manners- An Audio Fail

O.k it has been a while since I have had a rant but this is something that is very close to my heart.

Especially today after a rather more than usually challenging day in the office when manners would have made life fractionally more bare-able.

1. Don't interrupt someone when they are talking
2. Don't talk over someone when they are talking
3. LISTEN to the other speaker.

I am not sure there is anything more irritating than someone doing all three during a conference call. It is the hight of ignorance and I would love to "audio-slap" people when this happens.

Please don't confuse 1. with 2. there is a quick interruption which is one thing (and moderately bare-able based on frequency i.e. low) vs. deciding to simply shouting over the person who is trying to make a very reasonable point.

Can you send adults back to primary school to learn the basics of appropriate social engagement??

I bet they all snatched in the playground as kids!

Monday, 15 August 2011

Furry Boots Yei Fae?

In a previous blog I mentioned our family trip to Aberdeenshire in Easter. You definitely deserve to hear more about that trip given the lack of posting in recent weeks.

This was to introduce Husband to my young childhood stomping grounds. We were booked into stay at a city centre hotel and took the scenic coastal route to get there. The drive was beautiful and gorgeous. I was a bit apprehensive about this because in the 8 years (give or take) my memory was of freezing cold winds.

They sky could be blue and the sun shining but there would be an edge to it that would have you reaching for your thermals!

And I was proved wrong. It was glorious all weekend. So our drive up was smooth and very scenic.

We decided after our tour of old home stomping grounds we would head out to Fyvie Castle for a wee tour and lunch.

Lunch was really very confusing. It's the second main meal of the day and we were hungry and willing to pay for food so from that point of view it should be really a simple and straight forward process. Oh and it was 12.45pm. This is important because after we took our seats we were told that it was too late for lunch. We could only have tea and scones.

O.K while we were surprised at this we none the less accepted the rules and ordered tea and scones. 20 minutes later (and no they were not warm and freshly made) they arrived with no tea. But during our wait we saw sandwich's, soups and salads all make their way out of the kitchen. Lunch was clearly still on but Husband and I presumably looked like the type to start a food fight of some sort and therefore not suitable clientele to be trusted with anything more than a couple of cold scones and jam!!

I popped up to the desk and caught a different waitress to the one we were clearly inconveniencing to ask for a couple of bowls of soup and tea to go with our scones. And later had to go back to explain what we had ordered and eaten to make sure that we paid for it all.

As we went around the various rooms in Fyvie the volunteer guides gave us a lot of information. For the record I am 100% Scottish (my to Husbands surprise, but more on that another time) and my Husband is 100% English and while he has lived in Scotland for 10-12 years (give or take!) he's got a pretty good grasp of the various accents. But I know he's not heard a good thick Aberdonian accent and was curious to see what he would make of it.

So with each room I asked a guide a question and with each room the accents got gradually thicker and thicker. Until we peaked in the library/reading room where we were greeted by a proper Aberdonian lady with an accept you could cut with a knife.

Husband went very quiet and wandered around the room looking at various things while I spoke the lady about the room and was told

" they cannae mack a guiy gidd reid"

At this point we'd reached the limit of what he could fully understand un-interpretted.

It translate as: They can't make a very good read.

On our last day we headed to the beach in the morning and there must be something about the North East Coast that preserves the spirit.

I hope to be a rollerblading pensioner when the time comes!!

(If you have ever heard any aberdonian you might be able to work out the question in the title)

Sunday, 14 August 2011

Dear Cass (2)

Dear Cass,

It's me again- the you from the future.

You are just about to turn 20 and have just about made it through your Year of Firsts.

This has been a really strange time. People have reacted in a really funny way. Some haven't changed and treat you just the same as always- they are blessings. While others feel uncomfortable and don't seem to know how to talk to you. You try to make them feel better by being overly normal- laughing slightly louder than you mean too, smiling more than you feel like and being more enthusiastic and energetic than you can really be bothered with. You are keeping your grief as private and personal as you can. Only your best friend at uni knows the sense of loss your feeling but you still try to "bounce back", stay resilient and keep going.

You're still quite angry and confused but you are having really vivid nightmares and for the first time in your life that you can remember you are waking up in the night crying. There is nothing anyone will be able to say to you to make you feel better, but don't be angry about their pity. You can't stop it and pretending your more normal than usual to put people at their ease is pointless. So don't feel guilty.

The best thing you do is get some counselling. At least it will help to stop you from punishing yourself and sleep. The guilt will ease, though not really disappear altogether, age and time will bring comfort and new perspectives that will see the anger dissipate.

One flatmate will knock on your door and come in to ask you something. They wont say anything about the tears that are pouring down your face. They don't need to. They just climb onto the bed quietly, hold you close until you are calm and give you a kiss on the top of your head. You never found out what he wanted but you are relieved that he didn't walk back out and pretend he hadn't seen you or that he stood awkwardly waiting for you to sort yourself out.

You are pleased that he came in and love him secretly a little bit more. It is never awkward and you don't discuss it and nothing visible changes in your relationship with him for now.

In a moment of personal pain and anguish this silent moment of love between friends has given you such comfort that you know you'll be fine.

Hang Tough Kid

(29 years & 359 days old)

Friday, 12 August 2011

Little B & Mummy L

Little B,

You are now a wife and while your still Lil Sis I am renaming you in honour of your new title. Thank you for picking a fabulous brother for me and Mummy L.

Mummy L,

You too are getting a new name. While you're still Littlest Sis you're also now a Mummy and a fabulous one at that. Although I secretly can't wait to hear what your "Mum" voice sounds like - although I doubt your going to have to use it much.

My niece is a saint. In fairness she's not really in a position at her age to get up to much beyond the baby vom and dirty nappies but I am sure it is all to come!!

So here is to new names, new chapters and new acts


Thursday, 11 August 2011


I had to go to the dentist today.

I am going to be 30 in 9 days, not that I am counting, but I am scared of the dentist and I am technically a grown up.

I remember being a little kid and thankfully never having anything major wrong with my mouth that would prompt a fear of going to the dentist. In fact if anything it was fun because afterwards my Mum would take me to the shop to pick whatever treat I wanted- licorice wheels were my favourite. Of course I wasn't allowed them straight away.

Today I got my wisdom tooth pulled.

Right now I could cry. I really want a licorice wheel.

Husband came with me and sat nervously in the waiting room while I got a bit of me extracted. I think he was really worried for me. But since we've known I have this appointment he's been nothing but cool and nonchalant about the whole thing. He has been very re-assuring and calming.

In the car on the way back telling him about what happened in the room he had one hand over his mouth and the other on the steering wheel.

He then told me how he would take a spade to the head rather than get a tooth pulled under local anaesthetic.

He was so calm for me, knowing that if he suggested that the thought of getting a wisdom tooth pulled turned his stomach then I would be extremely freaked out about getting it pulled myself.

This is why he is my husband.

I could cry again. Going to put that down to the loss of a tooth.

Under strict instructions I am propped up in bed trying not to dribble, writing this and watching episodes of The West Wing (thank you Little B) to keep my mind off what is likely to be an uncomfortable couple of days. My mouth is still numb.

Wish me luck.

[For the record, the tooth was enormous- half the size of my own head (I know I can't believe it either) but it came out really easily and I didn't feel a thing. A decent amount of pressure on my jaw but zero pain]

Monday, 8 August 2011

3 weeks in a month I feel like this. . . .


Then 1 week in a month I feel and behave like this. . .

(fairly accurate)

Sorry Husband xx

Tuesday, 2 August 2011

It is your birthday my dear.

And you are very dear.

Especially to me.

And to my family.

They always ask me how you are. You are an extension. You are another sister.

You are exactly 17 days older than me and I like to think that technically, though not biologically, makes you my older sister. Which means that I can behave like a younger and more care-free sister. Not a luxury I take for granted by the way.

We have know each other for many years and you have been my best and dearest friend.

I have and am always very proud and honoured to be your friend. Your fiesty loyalty and quick wit keep me grounded. You wouldn't let me feel sorry for myself because I think you know somehow for both of us its not the way we operate!! 

You have been silent when I have poured my heart out. When I have been afraid to open up at vulnerable times you have found a way to reassure me that it is o.k to talk.

In doing so you have helped to give me courage where I wasn't sure I would be able to find it for myself.

Thank you.

We have know each other for 12 years and here is to many, many more. So embrace this birthday and the next and the one after that. Because that just means plenty more time and fun for us to have together as we get all old and wrinkly.

Here is to my best friend- HAPPY BIRTHDAY