A tiny angel

"I'm so sorry Catherine."

"At 12 weeks I'd expect it to be larger [but thats ok, I'm quite small and Husband isn't tall either]

I'd also expect to see a strong heartbeat [oh]"

Everything sounds muffled. Like I am under water.

Aware of small arms reaching out to hug me.

A new face.

"Would you like me to switch off the monitor?"

"I dont care, leave it, its fine [it's not fine. Nothing is fine. I just don't care.]"

"Would you like me to take you through what I am seeing here?"

"Sure [I don't care. I am not really hearing you any more. ]"

More muffled sounds.

In a new room.

Waiting.

Tears.

Sore throat.

Small arms hug me and big warm reassuring hands reach out.

"It'll be ok. We'll be ok. I love you."

I need to be anchored incase I float away, I grip his hand. I am numb. This is not real. Not again.

"We will be ok. It will be ok. I love you too."