Nipple-tastic

I am braving the world of exclusive breast feeding.

Which does not mean that I am part of an exclusive club but rather that I've become a the human equivalent of Daisy the cow- whose primary function its to feed directly (via pluggin in Son) or indirectly (by plugging myself into the wall) pump enough milk to grow this tiny human baby boy.

I am not sure how long we were going to last because to begin with it's not been easy.

For any new Mummies out there or about to become new Mummies- do not feel pressured to do this and if you do decide to go down this road then don't get upset or worried if it doesn't work and you need to formula feed.

The key in all of this is that baby puts on weight and Mummy isn't in a permanent state of meltdown.

So what follows is purely my own experiences and I am not advocating one or another in terms of bulking up the tots. Do what is right for you.

Phew glad I got that disclaimer out of the way at the start!

The first 3/4 weeks of this has not been easy my any stretch of the nipple. Son seemed to know what he was doing, the issue lay with me. Getting it right and I almost didn't feel a thing. Getting it wrong and what do you know- its like getting your nipple slammed in a door. Repeatedly.

Cracked nipples.

What feels like bruising.

In short, agony like I have never experienced- in fact I would almost go the whole hog with an extreme waxing and find it less painful.

So I in an effort to swing the balance into consistent pain free feeds I went to a couple of breast feeding clinics and we have cracked it, pardon the pun, pain free with the help of some fantastic mid wives and new positions for baby and Mummy. Now I can pop him on the boob anytime however I am not sure we can go public yet.

Son was a big boy when he was born. He has a big appetite...

He gulps at the breast and at the bottle.
He squeaks at both.
He pulls himself off. Both. And cries as soon as he's parted from either.
He gasps and splutters at both.
He pulls away from the breast but keeps a firm grip of the nipple. He has a very solid bite. We both squeak when this happens.

Neither bottle or breast are going anywhere. We want to feed him. We want to build him up and help him grow.

So why does he insist on doing the My-Parents-Dont-Love-Me-And-They-Are-Constantly-Starving-Me routine?

The beauty of his feeding technique it that it allows for maximum ingestion of air resulting in spectacular bouts of wind- be it from either end. Huge loud man burps and farts that make his mothers (and fathers) eyes water.

I have no idea what to say should anyone remark on the noise and smell that my now 7 week old son produces. I think it would be far easier to take the blame myself because who could possibly believe that this tiny creature is capable of such smelly outputs??